The following were sent to me in e-mails. Please call us if we can be of further help. Please read the entire page as there are more tips at the bottom and links to other web pages. The links may be to password protected pages and I have not checked all of them.
TIPS
FOR TALKING WITH CHILDREN ABOUT OUR NATIONAL DISASTER:
1.
Reassure
young children that they will be loved and taken care of.
Most young children sense when
their parents are upset. Reassure
them that, "Mommy loves you. I'm
upset about something that's happening far away.
It's not your fault that I'm worried.
2.
Go easy on
"positive" promises. Distinguish
between hopes and facts. No one can
predict the future. You can't
promise that someone will be safe, but you can hope that they will be safe.
Explain what's being done to protect them.
If children ask, "could it happen here?", be honest but
hopeful. For example, "Yes, it
could happen here, but it's not happening here now, and we are doing everything
we can to stay safe."
3.
Accept
children's feelings. Some
parents, in an attempt to reassure their child, may cause more distress.
For example, "Don't be scared.
There is nothing to worry about. I
will keep you safe." This
answer may cause confusion. If
there is really nothing to worry about, why are grown-ups so upset?
Instead, a parent might respond, "Yes, this is very scary," and
then reassure them that you love them and they will be cared for.
4.
Maintain routines.
It is important with both children and teens to follow their normal
routine as much as possible. Sleep and eat at the regular times. Attend school, sport and other activities.
5.
Limit the amount of
disaster news children hear on radio, TV or in conversations.
For
most children, and many adults, continuous war news and discussion creates
confusion, anger, or fear. When
children do watch the news, you might ask, "How do you think kids feel
about this?" or "I'm wondering what is confusing about this for
kids?"
6.
Open avenues for
discussion. Don't
wait for your child to ask. If
children think you don't want to talk about "it," they won't ask.
Look for the delicate balance between being willing to discuss
events and feelings, and demanding discussion.
7.
Listen to kids. Do not
interrupt. If
your child has a different view of the world--listen.
Reflect their feelings and worries.
For example: "It's
confusing and upsetting when people hurt so many innocent people."
8.
Discuss your feelings about the situation with your children. They need models for talking about and coping with
feelings. For example:
"I'm angry about what's happened.
I'm worried about the people who have been hurt."
9.
Share with children how
you cope with your feelings. Most
parents have strong feelings about terrorism.
We cope with them in different ways.
For example, organizing
prayer, donating blood and supplies, listening to soothing music, staying busy,
talking with friends, or writing letters.
10.
Help your children find constructive responses to the disaster.
One
way to reduce anger, stress, and anxiety is to do something with your
feelings. The activity will be more
helpful if it has meaning to your child or teen.
Some examples are: art
activities for children to express their feelings, games that enhance peaceful
ways of solving problems, or avenues for children and teens to contribute in
meaningful ways to areas in needs.
Material
above copied from: Help for
Kids. Understanding Your Feelings
About the War. Carole Gesme
M.A., CCDP, Daisy Press, Minneapolis, MN. 1991.
This specific material was authored by Elizabeth Crary, 1991.
***********************************************************************
Subject:
Communicating with Children about Disasters
In
response to the tragic events unfolding in New York and Washington, DC,
the
American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) would like to offer some advice on
how
to communicate with children and adolescents during times of crisis.
* It's important to communicate to children
that they're safe. Given
what
they may have seen on television, they need to know that the violence
is
isolated to certain areas and they will not be harmed. Parents should try
to
assure children that they've done everything they can to keep their
children
safe.
* Adolescents in particular can be hard
hit by these kinds of events
and
parents might want to watch for signs such as: sleep disturbances,
fatigue,
lack of pleasure in activities enjoyed previously, and initiation
of
illicit substance abuse.
* Overexposure to the media can be
traumatizing. It's unwise to let
children
or adolescents view footage of traumatic events over and over.
Children
and adolescents should not watch these events alone.
* Adults need to help children understand the
significance of these
events.
Discussion is critical. It should be stressed that the terrorist
acts
are ones of desperation and horror - and that they're not about
politics
or religion. Children should know that lashing out at members of a
particular
religious or ethnic group will only cause more harm.
The
following AAP documents can be found at:
http://www.aap.org/policy/re9813.html
the Psychosocial Implications of Disasters (AAP Policy statement)
http://www.mentalhealth.org/publications/allpubs/SMA95-3022/SMA3022.htm
-
Psychosocial Issues for Children and Families in Disasters: A Guide for the
Primary
Care Physician (Joint publication between AAP and US Center for
Mental Health Services)
http://www.aap.org/policy/re9702.html
Disaster Preparedness (AAP policy statement)
http://www.aap.org/advocacy/disarticle.htm
Hard:
Disasters Demand Psychological Triage (AAP News article)
The
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has suggestions for
"Helping
Children After a Disaster." They can be found at